I know it has been a hot minute since we’ve chatted, let’s just say I finished school then life went a little bit crazy. But I am back- so grab a cup of coffee, or a bottle of wine and let’s chat about living alone.
Me at 18, with my first ever roommate
I first moved out of home when I was 18 and made a move to the “big city”, (well Calgary is at least considered the big city where I am from) but, at 23 for the first time ever, I officially live alone. The subsequent years of living on my own consisted of a revolving door of college roommates.
This year is different, since graduating from University in June I moved into a new (gorgeous) apartment but I am fully living on my own. And guess what…
It’s has really changed my overall opinion on loneliness.
Living alone has taught me how to be alone. Sounds weird right- How did I make it to 23 without ever being alone? Well prior to this year being alone seemed lonely, so I never was. In high school I was always running off to sporting events with friends, university I was constantly surrounded by friends or boyfriends on a spiral of busyness. In doing so, I never got to know who I was without the chaos or camaraderie.
Finally for the first time ever I have had to learn how to be completely alone and okay with it. At first living alone was lonely- I had to make an effort to see friends, I had to keep myself occupied and entertained beyond Netflix, and I had to learn to cook for one, every single day. But mainly, being alone has shown me that it is not lonely to spend time with yourself and that living in a society that makes us believe we need this constant gratification by being surrounded by other people is wrong.
For instance since living alone I now read before bed, I journal every morning, I have started to make a real effort to cook for myself, and I spend my Sunday’s cleaning and designing my new place. These all might sound like very small things but they are all little things I never had time for before living alone because I filled every moment with someone else. Now I am starting to find the balance of friendship and self-care- that it is okay to recharge by yourself.
I guess in this long, rant what I am trying to say is that when you finally live on your own you will discover more of who you are- the good, the bad and the lonely.
Until next time,